Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Have yourself a multicultural little Christmas

In view of the fact that most Schools are no longer putting on a Nativity Play in order to avoid “giving offence” to other religions the following Nativity Play has been written


(or Have yourself a multicultural little Christmas)

Mary and an Angel.

(Please note that the role of the Angel is Non Gender specific and therefore the person playing the role must be chosen in accordance with an approved diversity procedure)

(Mary is sitting on the floor crosslegged with her eyes shut and her hands on her knees palms up. She is chanting)

MARY: Ohmm, Ohmm, Ohmm,

(The Angel enters Stage Left (or Stage Right depending on cultural preferences)


(Mary stands up startled, she adjusts her Hijab to cover her face and speaks)

MARY: Who are you ? You interrupted me when I was allowing my Kharma to flow forth and develop my Krishna Consciousness

ANGEL: I am Ahura Mazda, Lord of Light and a messenger of Allah. I have come to tell you that you are to have a child and in his honour every year children everywhere will be given presents regardless of their race, colour, creed, sexual orientation or transgender inclinations

MARY: But how can this be, I am a good Jewish Girl, though I hasten to add not a member of the international Zionist conspiracy or involved in the suppression of the legitimate aspirations of the Palestinian people

ANGEL: All things are possible to Allah. He has the power to turn Teddy bears into Criminals or Global Warming into snowy blizzards and he allows apparently rational people to believe that Sweden is run by the CIA so this is easy. The child will be born just after the festival of Divalli; farewell Mary and may the force be with you.

Wait, you have not told me what the name of the baby will be

(The Angel thinks for a minute)

ANGEL: It’s funny you should say that but with everything else that’s going on these days I’ve completely forgotten who the baby is


And to my readers (or for all I know 'my reader')

My best wishes for Christmas and for 2011 Anno Domini.


AncientBriton said...

That may rustle a few feathers but thank you Neil and very best wishes for a Happy Christmas and New Year to you too.

Left-footer said...

Delicately, but very, funny.

Thank you. Happy Christmas. God bless!

Rick said...

In theodicy, one might surmise that the monotheistic deity is one and the same – just viewed differently like the story of the 5 blind men who described the same elephant differently depending on what part he was touching. While the Judeo-Christian God is one the same, the so called deity of Islam is nothing but a human construct gleaned from existing faith systems used to justify deviant sexual practices, extortion and violence. Pope Benedict is clear that any theological dialogue with Islam is baseless and unsound. So, this compedium of religiousity is a travesy, a perversion of truth, goodness and beauty.

Neil Addison said...

"So, this compedium of religiousity is a travesy, a perversion of truth, goodness and beauty"

And there was me thinking I was simply writing satire

Jackie Parkes MJ said...


Brian Westley said...

In view of the fact that most Schools are no longer putting on a Nativity Play in order to avoid “giving offence” to other religions...

You're a lawyer, yet you try to use the hoary "offensive" excuse?

You should know better than most people that public schools in the US can't promote religion, and that promotion of Christianity is the problem, not "offensiveness" (which is often brought up as a red herring).

Neil Addison said...

Sorry to point out the blindingly obvious Brian but I am English and I am writing from an English and not an American perspective. We don't have the 1st amendment here and we do have religious schools.

However I agree with you that the "offence" argument is a red herring. Those who object object to public displays of Christianity in the West are invariably NOT Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus, Buddhists or Jews but atheists using the excuse that "offence" may be caused to people of non-christian faiths.

Red Maria said...


The hijab looks much like the kind of veil the Virgin Mary, a modest Jewish maiden, would have worn from where I'm sitting.

Your mantilla, her hijab, my sheitl. You tell me the difference, if you can.

Very good blogging on the ECHR's abortion ruling. Not so keen on this post. I think the attempt at humour falls flat on its face.